Let me begin by saying something that should be obvious to anyone with functioning taste buds and a shred of dignity: rum is a gift, and most people are out here treating it like it’s some sort of frat juice. Now, I’m not here to yuck anyone’s yum—but I am here to elevate it.

Enter Coke. Yes, Coca-Cola—the global elixir of civilization. People think it's just sugar water, but those people are wrong, and possibly dangerous. Coke has a beautifully engineered flavor profile: a perfect balance of sweet with just the right kiss of bitterness. That bitterness isn’t an accident—it’s a finely tuned dance of citrus oils, vanilla, cinnamon, caramelized sugar, and an almost imperceptible spicy tartness that lingers just long enough to remind you it’s a sophisticated drink hiding in plain sight. Coke is a bitter soda wearing a sweet cologne.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: "Greg, are you seriously about to justify putting Coke in a beautiful rum?" And to that, I say: only if you do it right. A splash of Coke is not a rum and Coke. It’s not some sloppy bar pour with a lime wedge you found behind the sink. It’s a precision move. A splash—just a whisper of Coke—opens up the rum. It tempers the sweetness, balances the burn, and creates an incredibly elegant, shockingly nuanced two-ingredient cocktail.

Rum and Coke is a good time. But rum with a splash of Coke? That’s a conversation. That’s jazz in a glass. That’s Hemingway with better dental hygiene.

If you’re sipping a decent rum and feel like it’s just a little too round, too sugary, try giving it that bitter kiss. Not too much. Just enough to let the Coke tell the rum, “Hey, you’re not alone anymore.”

And if you still insist it’s all the same? That’s fine. Just don’t come to my tasting night.